


The Turning Point

by deanlovescastielswormstache



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:32:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanlovescastielswormstache/pseuds/deanlovescastielswormstache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Lily have graduated from Hogwarts, but that is not the end of their problems. They are still unsure of each other, not certain of the stability of their relationship. Soon they reach a crossroads. Will they be able to reconcile their differences? Or will their relationship fade away? Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Turning Point

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys, this is my first run at fanfiction and this is a bit different. There is little actual dialogue, I'm trying out something new. Please let me know how it is!

They had been going at it for at least an hour now. Lily's throat ached and James' fist throbbed from when he had slammed it down on the table, trying to get his message across to her and attempting to distract himself from how much he just wanted to grab her and kiss their anger away. But he knew he couldn't. They had gone too far this time. She knew she was right and James knew he was never wrong. They both had forgotten why they had even started yelling at each other and now they were preoccupied with being the one who came out on top. They wouldn't allow the insults they hurled each other to affect them, brushing them aside and sending their own darts, each hoping to hit a mark, to make the other understand how much they hurt inside, to convey the swirling despair of losing the other but not able to stop themselves from spitting out more venomous words that sent the other in a spiraling descent of hurt and anger.

Glass shards were scattered across the table, the remains or a vase that had contained roses. Red roses, the symbol of love. The water that had been in the vase was dripping on the floor and the red roses were scattered, petals had been ripped off and soiled and now they looked like speckles of blood, on the table, on the floor, floating in the water and pierced by shards of glass that sparkled in the light. The shorn decapitated roses were trampled, abandoned and forgotten, just like the cause of the argument. It looked like the battlefield that was raging over them as the two lovers drove the knives deeper in each others hearts, not realizing that they were only causing themselves more pain.

Lily was busy mouthing James off, accusing him of never really having changed. In the heat of her anger, she was convinced he had been playing with her heart, that it was all a game. The conquest of Lily Evans. She remembered all his teasing comments about his superiority, how she had always laughed them off. He thought that he owned her, that he controlled her, trying to persuade her to not join the Order, to keep her home and safe. He didn't understand that she was scorned in both worlds, an outsider looking in, she was neither muggle nor witch. Her parents were gone and Petunia couldn't stand the sight of her. James was all she had left and she hated the fact. She hated that he had the power to break her heart with a few simple words or actions. Maybe he only saw her as a Mudblood, just like Severus had. She was such a bloody fool. She didn't want James' pity.

James was furious that he had to prove to her time and time again that he had changed and that he was no longer the fifteen year old boy that he had once been. He hated that she doubted him and that she doubted herself, that she didn't trust him or her own judgment of him. He was tired of them tiptoeing around each other, trying not to upset the other in case the other left. That wasn't the Lily he knew and it wasn't who he was. He didn't want that kind of relationship with her. He wanted all of her, not just her good parts, but all of her imperfections as well and he knew that's what Lily wanted. But most of all, he wanted Lily to be safe. Just thinking of what the Death Eaters would do if they caught her, a muggle born in the Order, made his gut clench and he slammed his fist down on the table again, not even wincing as it landed amongst the broken glass and thorned flower stems, wanting the pain to distract him from the pain inside, but unable to feel the piercing of his flesh.

Lily had moved past flinging insults at him, now listing off her own incriminations. She was an awful cook. She wasn't brave. She hated cleaning. All of her insecurities poured out, knowing she was just giving James more ammunition but unable to stop the words from falling out of her mouth or to suppress the tears of anger and despair from clouding her eyes. She was vulnerable. She wasn't beautiful enough, smart enough, patient enough and lastly but most importantly, she was a Mudblood.

They both fell silent after she had uttered the last word. Mudblood. The word floated between them, mocking them. They could both feel the silent rage emanating from James and the shame that came from the redhead opposite him, though her eyes looked into his proudly, sparkling with unshed tears. James didn't know what to say. So he stood there in stunned silence, suddenly understanding what Lily was getting at. She thought he hated her for forcing him to fight for her, having to protect her, for making him a blood traitor. It was the furthest from the truth that she could guess and he had no idea how to show her how wrong she was.

Lily took James' silence as a confession to guilt. She dropped her eyes to the strewn and broken remnants of love on the table and the water on the floor. Quietly, with a shaking voice, she told him she was leaving. It's over. All of it had been for nothing. She turned on her heel, grinding glass into the floor and she walked from the kitchen, tears streaming down her face. She left James there with the table and the flowers and the glass. But she took the memories with her, keeping them close to her heart. They were all she had left. She walked slowly and calmly down the hallway. Her legs were trembling but she held her head up. Taking a deep breath she opened the door. She had no idea what she would do without him but she would not let herself drag James down. She had to leave him before he left her. It was the only way she could keep some tatters of her dignity and a few pieces of her broken heart. She took her first step out of James' flat. That is when she made her mistake. She looked back over her shoulder.

James stood dejected in the hallway, watching her walk out of his life. She wasn't even going to dignify him with a goodbye. He knew Lily. So when she looked back at him in hesitation, he locked eyes with her, begging her with his eyes not to leave him. Damn his pride, he just wanted to stop Lily from walking out that door. He saw her hesitation and he jumped, knowing this was his last chance, his only chance.

"Lils. I love you. Don't leave me." She froze. He had never said that before. She turned around and closed the door, letting him see the shock and confusion in her eyes. The questions. He let the words fall out of his mouth, tripping over his tongue. He never thought of her as a Mudblood. In fact, he saw her as more magically gifted than he. He loved her adorable attempts at cleaning and her short temper made him feel alive. He didn't care that she didn't like to clean because to be honest, he didn't either. To be honest, he probably had more faults than she did. He wouldn't blame her for leaving him. He loved her just the way she was and he was so surprised when she had thrown those insecurities out there that he didn't know how to respond. He couldn't let her leave. He didn't even know what they had been arguing about; he had gotten so caught up in the moment, and sometimes he still felt like that 15 year old boy that was always pining for that girl that was out of his league. He didn't want to get hurt, but he had never meant to hurt her. He was so sorry and he would do anything to stop her from walking out of that door.

A silence fell between the two lovers. Lily knew then that she couldn't leave him. She loved him as well; she had suspected it for months now. She didn't want to be the first one to say it. She knew that those hateful words they had hurled at each other weren't the truth. They had let anger rule their hearts and their head. They had both been unable to stop themselves. Lily couldn't help falling in love and she couldn't help the fact that sometimes she wanted to strangle him. It was what love was. But now, with war and probable death hanging over their heads, she couldn't walk away from love when they may only have weeks or months left. People were dying and they could be next. She wanted to come clean with James, so that if they died, they would at least know that they loved each other.

So she crossed the room and kissed James, conveying all of her love in that kiss. James kissed her back, pouring his own love into the kiss. In that moment everything was beautiful and right. He pulled back, and she knew this was her chance to say it. "I love you too James." A smile burst across his face, the joy in his eyes erasing all of her last doubts.

"Lily, I had wanted to ask you before, but then we got into the whole argument. Will you move in with me?" Lily nodded, her eyes beaming with love and sealed her promise with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my personal blog [here](http://deanlovescastielswormstache.tumblr.com) and my MArauders blog [here](http://snapsandprongsforever.tumblr.com).


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